“Headache toh mai kapde jaisa pehenta thaa, agar kisi din nhi hota thaa toh lgta thaa kuch missing hai. As if I’m naked!”

 

Nights of horror

How was sleep for you last night? I haven't slept in 8 years. What is that even like? Remember ever touching an overheated generator? How it smells of rotten wires when you step closer to it, it burns your skin to just touch it, and everything about it feels wrong? I was that overheated generator. 

And there was no way for me to cool this generator down. There was no turn off button. Doctors told me my brain would wake up 20 times in a minute. 

And the only way to deal with it was through a pile of medications. 

A pile that only got a little bigger each night. 

Until it was high enough to bury both me and my aspirations under it.

Siddhartha using CPAP machine to fall asleep at night 

 

A life of disease 

I have been suffering from sleep apnea since 2013. What did that mean? That meant if I had sleep, I would have to spend seventy five thousand rupees, to attach to my face a pipe and a mask, lie pin straight on my back, motionless, and let it breathe some air into me, that my nose, after all this sinusitis, had forgotten how to. All this, and a few injections to control my headaches, and me, from banging my head against the wall, just so that I could sleep? 

Is sleep supposed to be tiring? I thought it was supposed to do the exact opposite. 

Sleep revived people. For me, sleep depressed me. 

Sleeplessness kept me awake with the feeling of helplessness. 

The helplessness that had taken up many faces of its own. 

Siddhartha couldn't focus on his work due to severe and frequent headaches

One of which was the face of incompetence at the office. My boss would often walk up to my desk and make me realise all the mistakes in the report that I had done, yet again. I was a risk analyst. One mistake, and the reporting of the whole firm could be jeopardised. Despite being a leader for over 10 years, my team members were looking at me with eyes full of doubt. 

In July 2013, I had to ask for a leave for 1.5 years, after having worked for over 12 years, because I just couldn't do it. My headaches just wouldn't let me. My sleeplessness just wouldn't let me. 

The helplessness would take the shape of an accident when I would be driving in my car. The exhaustion had reached such an extent that I would doze off while driving. It still gives me the chills when I think of those times when someone would knock on my window, or blow a terribly loud honk and I would come back to consciousness in horror. And the only thought that would cross my mind is, what would have happened to my son if something happened to me? I had no answers. 

Back at home, the helplessness had taken the face of disinterest. Out of lack of energy, I just wouldn't feel like interacting with my son or my wife. I would just be quiet and in one corner of the house. When my wife would come back from work and ask me how my day was, I had nothing to say. When my son would ask me if I would like to go down and play with him, I had nothing to say. When my mother would video call me to ask me how I had been feeling, I had nothing to say. My swollen eyes were all the answers anyone could ever get out of me. 

Siddhartha couldn't even give time to his family due to his health problems 

I had become absent in my wife’s life, in my son’s life, in my friend’s life and life had become absent in me. The only thing that kept me together through this terrible time of my life was my spirituality. It taught me to not give up. And how life was beyond me. How the reason for my existence was beyond me. So I knew that the solution for my troubles also had to come from beyond me. In my meditations I would manifest a solution and pray to have the patience till I reached it.

 

Days of Healing

I immediately started with my first step of healing - 16 hour fasting. I used the discipline that spirituality had taught me to my use and stopped eating after 6pm in the night at any given cost. Fasting became like the 9th wonder of the world for me. After a week of that, I started the second step of healing - Ash Gourd Juice. Early morning, around 7, I would have a glass full of that juice. It had only been a week and I could see my weight coming down. I decided to take this up more seriously and signed up for the Health Transformation Workshop.

Attending the workshop gave me a confidence I didn't even know I was looking for. 

Siddhartha starting his healing journey and getting deeper into Satvic knowledge

Armed with all the knowledge on what's happening inside my body, and how hard it is working for me, I started taking more charge. I bought all the ingredients to start cooking Satvic Food, bought clay pots from the Satvic Movement's website, and started doing my study on the Satvic Food Book. The workshop had given me a glimpse into how delicious healing food can be. At once, I let my love for cooking take over. A bit of messing up the kitchen here and there, completely miscalculating portion sizes, I at first made mistakes. But after some trials and errors, I started making amazing food. My family started supporting me. I then started with the wet pack and enema too. Wet packs gave me such a relief that no amount of medicines had done for me in the past.

Siddhartha starting his day with a rejuvenating yoga flow out in nature 

Slowly and gradually, my whole routine fell into place. My weight came down from 83 kg to 73 kg. I packed my CPAP machine, and asked my wife to donate it to a nearby childcare center. Medicines stopped entering my home. My son and I became closer and started making up for all those lost years. I got back to work, and started taking responsibilities again. Well it’s safe to say you won’t find me asleep in the middle of the roads now. And above all, each night, I am blessed to hug my wife, take a deep breath, and fall asleep like a newborn.

Siddhartha spending quality time with his wife, son and dog at their home 

If you too suffer from any of these symptoms and wish to live a disease-free and a pain-free life, today is the day to give yourself that gift. Sign up for our Health Transformation Workshop and let joy return to your life. 

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